You are not alone with OCD!
When dealing with OCD, the distressful emotions, stigma and taboo nature of certain obsessions and compulsions can leave one feeling alone and isolated. One may experience obsessions or compulsions that leave them feeling guilty or shameful. Often at times I have worked with individuals where the fear and disgust over the nature of their OCD has led to such a high level of distress. Frequently someone may join a session with fear that they will be judged, or that they are thinking things that are so heinous in society that they feel there is no place for them.
What I have come to experience within the realm of OCD is more about the hundred of sub-types of OCD that one could experience. There are common symptoms of OCD but OCD might reveal itself in a specific theme or sub-type. These themes or sub-types might look like for example contamination, fear of harm, pedophilic OCD perfectionism, just right feelings, sexuality/gender, or false memory/real events. These themes allow us to understand the fears and develop specific treatment plan goals to address the specific nature of your own OCD. But they do not show the full picture. OCD sub-types can change and someone might have more than one sub-type. Just because you might not fit into a box of a certain sub-type, does not mean that you do not have OCD.
With the various themes of OCD present, the doubts and thoughts might discourage someone from seeking treatment. Thoughts might arise questioning on if this is really OCD or not. The ongoing battle and rumination about the nature of the thoughts can lead to some pretty dark places. Often one may isolate from their supports, in fear of expressing the nature of the doubts to them, whether they will be judged or not. Or thoughts that they are a terrible person for having these thoughts. What I want to share is that while those thoughts are there, we have come to understand that nature of how OCD operates and how it tries to get you to engage in compulsions. The compulsions are the fuel to the OCD cycle. OCD will throw whatever it can at you in order to get you back into the OCD cycle. That the thoughts do not define you, that they are not reflective of your motivations or desires. OCD is the doubting disorder and will make you doubt anything that has value or meaning to you in your life. You are not alone in this process. There are millions of people in the world that share similar thoughts and feelings you may have. The support is available and the treatment to help your OCD is available. Stepping into treatment and addressing these obsessions and fears takes courage and bravery. That through the fears one holds and facing it, on the other side is freedom.
